Things I Never Thought I Would Do, That I Did

Shreveport, La - I thought it would be fun to write down 100 things I’ve done so far in life that I never thought I would do. The reason I felt compelled to do something like this is on the list. (It’s #96.) When I left home, no one ever told me that the most inspiring, outrageous, amazing things that would make me love life even more were the things I never thought I would do. Here are mine no specific order.


1. Worked as a cartoonist.
2. Saw Area 51 in Nevada (from a distance.)
3. Stood on top of a 14,256 foot tall mountain.
4. Owned a goat.
5. Had a goat stand on my couch.
6. Rode a horse bareback through the Rocky Mountains.
7. Kayaked Lake Mojave.
8. Stood on Hoover Dam.
9. Stood inside Hoover Dam.
10. Had a heart-to-heart with Ted Danson.
11. Got paid to lead trail rides in the Rockies.
12. Watched the sun rise over the deserts of Northern Mexico.
13. Met Katie Holmes.
14. Went to a red-carpet party after the CMA awards.
15. Watched a woman dance on a piano I was playing.
16. Recorded a CD.
17. Worked for Servpro.
18. Got Jack Black to listen to my CD.
19. Drove Harold Ramis around.
20. Became friends with David Cross.
21. Went as far east as you can go in the United States.
22. Spent part of a summer in Chihuahua, Mexico.
23. Met Michael Cera.
24. Lived in a town with a population of 52.
25. Had a blog!
26. Watched the sun rise over the Great Plains.
27. Worked at a newspaper.
28. Got a journalism degree.
29. Was a freelance journalist for a while.
30. Worked on a movie set in the deserts of New Mexico.
31. Lived in Louisiana.
32. Lived in Nashville.
33. Played live music in downtown Nashville.
34. Became a full-time piano man.
35. Partied with a donkey in Zacatecas, Mexico.
36. Lived for a winter in the Rocky Mountains.
37. Learned to square dance.
38. Almost got detained in the Mexico City airport because I was illegally in the country.
39. Gave Bernie Mac a piano lesson.
40. Learned a lot about water mitigation.
41. Moved furniture for a living.
42. Worked at a nationwide radio bowling program.
43. Owned two dogs, three goats, a cat, and a miniature horse all at once.
44. Wrote a screenplay.
45. Watched the sun rise over the Atlantic Ocean.
46. Went to New York City four times.
47. Drove from San Angelo to Eastport, Maine.
48. Went cliff jumping into Lake Mojave
49. Went on a cattle drive.
50. Rode in a car for two hours with Hank Azaria in New Mexico.
51. Dove neck deep into Hollywood.
52. Fell in love with Waring, Texas.
53. Went to Boston.
54. Met Tom Cruise.
55. Spent two weeks in Puerto Morelos, Mexico.
56. Drove a U-haul truck full of fake dead monsters and severed heads all the way from Shreveport to Los Angeles.
57. Went to Los Angeles and didn’t even see it in the daylight.
58. Drove all the way across the continental United States.
59. Ran out of money in foreign country. (Don’t try this at home.)
60. Met Bruce Willis.
61. Was published nationally in a magazine.
62. Partied in Playa del Carmen until the sun came up…literally.
63. Drank coffee at a small coffee shop in Zacatecas, Mexico, by a cobble-stone street.
64. Got to hear a Hollywood director say “ACTION!”
65. Watched the sun rise over the Caribbean Ocean.
66. Went to Disneyworld twice.
67. Slept in a bunkhouse at a ranch for four summers.
68. Was a handyman.
69. Almost went on tour with Troma Glidewell.
70. Swam on my lunchbreaks in the Medina river in Bandera, Texas.
71. Accidentally had a steak dinner with Judd Apatow and the president and vice president of Columbia pictures in Las Cruces.
72. Picked up movie stars from the airport in their private planes.
73. Got betrayed by a close friend.
74. Went dancing in Mexico.
75. Swam in a jungle swimming hole in Mexico.
76. Sang on a street corner.
77. Watched my dad and Vinny Jones have dinner at the same table.
78. Almost got stampeded to death by a herd of horses.
79. Gave a eulogy at a friend’s funeral.
80. Lived in a house with a baby (that wasn’t mine)
81. Produced a short-film.
82. Started going bald!
83. Went regularly to a church where I was the only white person.
84. Learned to play the piano!
85. Became an uncle.
86. Drove to Dallas 25 times in eight weeks one summer.
87. Watched Oliver Stone hit on my sister and my girlfriend at the same time.
88. Had friendships that have lasted my whole life.
89. Slept in a cave.
90. Made a living just playing music.
91. Rode the subway.
92. Had a dog survive getting shot.
93. Learned to play the fiddle.
94. Had a relationship that lasted longer than six months.
95. Played jazz in New Orleans.
96. Played the guitar and sang for a bunch of chimpanzees, one of which threw poo at me.
97. Found happiness when I didn’t think I could.
98. Saw a black man become president.
99. Was a working cowboy.
100. Marched in a marching band.
And one more…

101. I lived while I was alive.

That's the story of my life...