Chicken Co-op Shows Record Third Quarter Earnings, Visionary Company Hailed By Warren Buffet

(AP)Waring, TX- In an unprecedented showing, the upstart poultry conglomerate The Chicken Co-op showed record third quarter earnings, passing even renowned investor and economic guru Warren Buffet in third quarter profits.

According to Winston Hall, the CEO of The Chicken Co-op, the company far surpassed earlier projections.

"We were expecting to find one egg, maybe two when I checked the coop yesterday," Hall said. "As it turns out, I found three. Three whole eggs. Who knew? This is a volatile market. Sometimes, people don't find any eggs. Let's just say we we're all surprised."

The Chicken Co-op's announcement comes on the heels of a massive revamping of the company's mangerial tier.

"I'm thinking off calling myself 'Head Chief Executive Officer' just in case someday I want to hire a Chief Executive Officer under me. I guess it doesn't really matter. As it is, I am the only employee anyway," Hall said.

Warren Buffet praised Hall and his vision early Thursday morning at a press conference.

"Mr. Hall has shown that it doesn't take a business degree to create a business that impacts the world market. Many of the world's best CEO's didn't get three eggs on their first try...if you know what I mean," Buffett said.

Hall does not plan on resting anytime soon.

"We are planning on adding another hen early next month. But we don't want to get out of control yet. The key to success is steady, sound, business practice. We are going to build this empire one chicken at a time. One chicken at a time," Hall said.

That's the story of my life...