Goat, Cat, Dogs form Loose Political Affiliation, Owner Shunned
Waring, TX - Sometimes in life a guy just feels left out. Today was one of those instances. I found some free time around lunch and drove into the nearby town of Boerne because Boerne has a Super Wal-Mart and that qualifies it as a "metropolis." Of course, when you live in a town whose population hovers around 50 people, the prairie dog village down the road also qualifies as a metropolis.
Anyway, as you may have read, I have a goat who for the past month has displayed unacceptable levels of spasticity. Every time I have come within 10 yards of the goat it sprints in the opposite direction and then kind of hops on all fours. The goat has also endangered my very life (in the laundry shed) as well as my hapless neighbors who had to help apprehend the goat several weeks back. The cantankerous goat has unleashed hell on the sleepy little town of Waring and, to a moderate extent, I regret opening this "box" on the town.
Back to today. I returned from Wal-Mart bags in hand only to find this very same goat standing on the front porch of my house. Surrounding the goat were, in no particular order, Hart the Puppy, Girl the Dog, and Aldo Leopold the Cat. All of them were standing there..just hanging out..together.
Dammit.
The dogs were standing next to the goat paying it no mind whatsoever. Like it wasn't even there!! The goat was completely oblivous to the idea of a "food chain" and stood next to the dogs bleating excessively as if they weren't even there!! The cat, aside from all that nonsense, was meandering in and out of the feet of all of the animals. It was one big happy family.
The look on the animals' faces was curious. They looked at me as if I had busted up some little gathering, political in nature I'm sure. The dogs ran toward me, the goat retreated around the house and the cat started bathing itself. Quick thinking. Of course cats are smooth like that.
Good riddance. It appears I am out of the loop even in my own house. I am combating this with the implementation of a Jane Goodall-style approach to the taming of this goat that with due time and diligence will have me living in the goat's fragile social network without it even knowing a human is present. Details to follow.
That's the story of my life...
Anyway, as you may have read, I have a goat who for the past month has displayed unacceptable levels of spasticity. Every time I have come within 10 yards of the goat it sprints in the opposite direction and then kind of hops on all fours. The goat has also endangered my very life (in the laundry shed) as well as my hapless neighbors who had to help apprehend the goat several weeks back. The cantankerous goat has unleashed hell on the sleepy little town of Waring and, to a moderate extent, I regret opening this "box" on the town.
Back to today. I returned from Wal-Mart bags in hand only to find this very same goat standing on the front porch of my house. Surrounding the goat were, in no particular order, Hart the Puppy, Girl the Dog, and Aldo Leopold the Cat. All of them were standing there..just hanging out..together.
Dammit.
The dogs were standing next to the goat paying it no mind whatsoever. Like it wasn't even there!! The goat was completely oblivous to the idea of a "food chain" and stood next to the dogs bleating excessively as if they weren't even there!! The cat, aside from all that nonsense, was meandering in and out of the feet of all of the animals. It was one big happy family.
The look on the animals' faces was curious. They looked at me as if I had busted up some little gathering, political in nature I'm sure. The dogs ran toward me, the goat retreated around the house and the cat started bathing itself. Quick thinking. Of course cats are smooth like that.
Good riddance. It appears I am out of the loop even in my own house. I am combating this with the implementation of a Jane Goodall-style approach to the taming of this goat that with due time and diligence will have me living in the goat's fragile social network without it even knowing a human is present. Details to follow.
That's the story of my life...
posted by Winston A. Hall at 8:01 PM
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