(Enter Banjo) Da da dang ding dang ding dang ding dang...Blogger Goes Backwoods, Lives to Recount Tale
Gatesville, TX - It seems, in my endless wanderings, that I have the oddball luck of Forrest Gump, but in a bad way. My luck has never made me rich, it has simply given me some good stories. This one ranks up there with some of my best and I can directly atrribute it to the aforementioned luck.
Last week, I found myself in Gatesville, Texas, for what else but my homecoming weekend. Catch up with the old friends, hang out, see the old haunts...you know, just small town homecoming stuff. The game festivities spilled over to the Horseshoe Dance Hall, which spilled over into yet another party. Eventually, I found myself at about 2 a.m. on Friday night in someone's backyard. Off to the side I noticed one Kim Shepherd. Now this girl Kim is two years younger than me. In high school our paths crossed but we rarely if ever spoke. She did at one point date my good friend Casey Maynard. Now Kim is, how do I say, incredibly attractive. Yes, when she was in high school she was cute. But now, years later, she had blossomed into a...er...WOMAN.
At one point she was standing near me so I made the obvious move: I said hi. She turned to me and in a moment of ecstatic recognition said "Winston Hall! I have something I've been wanting to tell you for like THREE years!!"
I stared unsure of what to make of her little statement.
"Yes?" I encouraged.
The next statement out of her mouth was a complete left turn from what I was expecting.
"I think we're related!" she said.
"Uh...I beg your pardon?"
"I think you and I are related!! Isn't that cool?"
"Uh...not really. That would make it exponentially more awkward when we make out later."
She laughed. For once I nailed a joke while hitting on a girl. But, as it turns out, to no avail.
As it turns out, Kim Shepherd is my third cousin. She discovered this at a family reunion in Wichita Kansas several years ago. As best we could tell, her great-grandfather and my great-grandmother were brother and sister. These two were two of twelve children so I probably have 348 other third cousins in America I haven't met yet as well.
But in my hometown?!?!?
Go figure. It turned out to be quite funny. I was calling her cousin by the end of the night. And, truly, I think it's kind of fun to actually have family in my hometown, albeit very distant.
For the record, I did do some research and found it is perfectly acceptable from a legal standpoint to marry your third cousin. The only requirement is that you are able to put the idea out of your head that you are "interacting" with someone who is technically your cousin.
Eeeeegh.
Anyway, all's well that ends well. I told Kim had I known she was my cousin in high school I would have not only been her friend but I would have picked on her as well. But I most likely wouldn't have dated her.
That's the story of my life...
Last week, I found myself in Gatesville, Texas, for what else but my homecoming weekend. Catch up with the old friends, hang out, see the old haunts...you know, just small town homecoming stuff. The game festivities spilled over to the Horseshoe Dance Hall, which spilled over into yet another party. Eventually, I found myself at about 2 a.m. on Friday night in someone's backyard. Off to the side I noticed one Kim Shepherd. Now this girl Kim is two years younger than me. In high school our paths crossed but we rarely if ever spoke. She did at one point date my good friend Casey Maynard. Now Kim is, how do I say, incredibly attractive. Yes, when she was in high school she was cute. But now, years later, she had blossomed into a...er...WOMAN.
At one point she was standing near me so I made the obvious move: I said hi. She turned to me and in a moment of ecstatic recognition said "Winston Hall! I have something I've been wanting to tell you for like THREE years!!"
I stared unsure of what to make of her little statement.
"Yes?" I encouraged.
The next statement out of her mouth was a complete left turn from what I was expecting.
"I think we're related!" she said.
"Uh...I beg your pardon?"
"I think you and I are related!! Isn't that cool?"
"Uh...not really. That would make it exponentially more awkward when we make out later."
She laughed. For once I nailed a joke while hitting on a girl. But, as it turns out, to no avail.
As it turns out, Kim Shepherd is my third cousin. She discovered this at a family reunion in Wichita Kansas several years ago. As best we could tell, her great-grandfather and my great-grandmother were brother and sister. These two were two of twelve children so I probably have 348 other third cousins in America I haven't met yet as well.
But in my hometown?!?!?
Go figure. It turned out to be quite funny. I was calling her cousin by the end of the night. And, truly, I think it's kind of fun to actually have family in my hometown, albeit very distant.
For the record, I did do some research and found it is perfectly acceptable from a legal standpoint to marry your third cousin. The only requirement is that you are able to put the idea out of your head that you are "interacting" with someone who is technically your cousin.
Eeeeegh.
Anyway, all's well that ends well. I told Kim had I known she was my cousin in high school I would have not only been her friend but I would have picked on her as well. But I most likely wouldn't have dated her.
That's the story of my life...
posted by Winston A. Hall at 1:11 PM
1 Comments:
hahahaha... that's too funny
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