Co-op in Trouble, Spastic Chickens Defect at Alarming Rates
Waring, TX - Okay. So apparently I am not any good at chicken farming. As you may have read earlier, I embarked on a journey several weeks ago by purchasing several chickens and opening a hen house called the Chicken Co-op. All was well the first several days, but all that changed rather quickly.
One night when I went out to close the door to my coop I noticed one of the chickens was missing. The next night, the other was as well. The only one who remained was my faithful rooster whom I call The Colonel. Just like that 66 percent of my chicken inventory had walked out. Fearing something ate them both, I called Carol (where the chickens came from originally).
To my relief, Carol informed me the chickens were back at her house, roosting with her chickens. My chickens had defected!!! The sickest, and perhaps most entertaining part of this story is that Carol's house is on the other side of F.M. 1621...so you guessed it, the chickens had to cross the road to get back to Carol' s hen house. Finally that ridiculous question had been answered once and for all.
But the story does not end there. Seeking to give The Colonel company, I traveled to Comfort, Texas, where I purchased two more hens for 1 dollar a piece. But, the lady who I bought them from failed to mention one minor detail:
These were spastic chickens.
How spastic? you ask. When I closed them into the henhouse with their new friend The Colonel they went bouncing off the walls, spreading feathers everywhere, turning over water jugs and even flinging spastic chicken poop all over the place. One finally ended up hitting the screened window of the coop so hard it flew open and the spastic chicken flew into the wild blue yonder (and by wild blue yonder I mean like 10 feet away in the yard.) Of course, the other spastic chicken followed suit and now both spastic chickens are loose in Waring. I saw them yesterday at Saur's welding shop and then later outside the post office. I have no idea where they are calling home, but it ain't the Chicken Cooperative.
We at the Chicken Co-op have switched to a very strict no spastic chicken policy. Good riddance.
Anyhoo, if you drive through Waring anytime soon and see two spastic chickens tell them hi for me...and then run over them.
That's the story of my life...
One night when I went out to close the door to my coop I noticed one of the chickens was missing. The next night, the other was as well. The only one who remained was my faithful rooster whom I call The Colonel. Just like that 66 percent of my chicken inventory had walked out. Fearing something ate them both, I called Carol (where the chickens came from originally).
To my relief, Carol informed me the chickens were back at her house, roosting with her chickens. My chickens had defected!!! The sickest, and perhaps most entertaining part of this story is that Carol's house is on the other side of F.M. 1621...so you guessed it, the chickens had to cross the road to get back to Carol' s hen house. Finally that ridiculous question had been answered once and for all.
But the story does not end there. Seeking to give The Colonel company, I traveled to Comfort, Texas, where I purchased two more hens for 1 dollar a piece. But, the lady who I bought them from failed to mention one minor detail:
These were spastic chickens.
How spastic? you ask. When I closed them into the henhouse with their new friend The Colonel they went bouncing off the walls, spreading feathers everywhere, turning over water jugs and even flinging spastic chicken poop all over the place. One finally ended up hitting the screened window of the coop so hard it flew open and the spastic chicken flew into the wild blue yonder (and by wild blue yonder I mean like 10 feet away in the yard.) Of course, the other spastic chicken followed suit and now both spastic chickens are loose in Waring. I saw them yesterday at Saur's welding shop and then later outside the post office. I have no idea where they are calling home, but it ain't the Chicken Cooperative.
We at the Chicken Co-op have switched to a very strict no spastic chicken policy. Good riddance.
Anyhoo, if you drive through Waring anytime soon and see two spastic chickens tell them hi for me...and then run over them.
That's the story of my life...
posted by Winston A. Hall at 8:42 AM
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