Funny Farm On Verge of Expansion, Wall Street Braces for Best Week Ever, Ever
Waring, TX- In a stunning announcement yesterday, the CEO of The Funny Farm, Inc., Winston A. Hall announced a giant expansion of the fledgling company's livestock program. According to Hall, The Funny Farm is exploring the possibility of acquiring three goats and two horses from the Smith Ranch, located on a large .7 acre spread appoximately one block from The Funny Farm. Hall clarified that the animals would most likely reside at The Funny Farm on a "loaned basis."
According to Smitty Smith, the proprietor of the Smith Ranch, a severe shorage of grass caused him to look into the possibilty of brokering a deal with The Funny Farm.
"Well, those goats of mine done ate everything out if their pen. It's just dirt mostly and I saw the, er, abundance of grass in Mr. Hall's facility and thought hell, I should just let him use my goats for a while," Smith said.
Smith also pointed out that the use of horses should prove more efficient in the upkeep of The Funny Farm's large grass lawn.
"Well, everyone know that horses are grazers, not browsers," Smith said.
The move comes in a series of bold moves by the new CEO Hall, beginning with his arrival two months ago. Hall received national attention when he fired 100 percent of The Funny Farm's employee roster, leaving himself to do every job at The Farm. The move proved smart, citing the company's record profits in recent months. Analysts suggest that Hall's move, which some have labeled as "reckless" should in the end bolster the company, not stretch it too thin. According to Warren Buffet, CEO of Berkshire Hathaway, Hall's move does not come as a surprise to Wall Street.
"By God, that Hall did it again. Just when you think 'what could he think of next?' he comes up with a move like this. Pure genuis!" Buffet said.
Last quarter, The Funny Farm recorded record profits, topping $36 billion, despite a rash of negative publicity due to the escape of one of its goats.
According to Smitty Smith, the proprietor of the Smith Ranch, a severe shorage of grass caused him to look into the possibilty of brokering a deal with The Funny Farm.
"Well, those goats of mine done ate everything out if their pen. It's just dirt mostly and I saw the, er, abundance of grass in Mr. Hall's facility and thought hell, I should just let him use my goats for a while," Smith said.
Smith also pointed out that the use of horses should prove more efficient in the upkeep of The Funny Farm's large grass lawn.
"Well, everyone know that horses are grazers, not browsers," Smith said.
The move comes in a series of bold moves by the new CEO Hall, beginning with his arrival two months ago. Hall received national attention when he fired 100 percent of The Funny Farm's employee roster, leaving himself to do every job at The Farm. The move proved smart, citing the company's record profits in recent months. Analysts suggest that Hall's move, which some have labeled as "reckless" should in the end bolster the company, not stretch it too thin. According to Warren Buffet, CEO of Berkshire Hathaway, Hall's move does not come as a surprise to Wall Street.
"By God, that Hall did it again. Just when you think 'what could he think of next?' he comes up with a move like this. Pure genuis!" Buffet said.
Last quarter, The Funny Farm recorded record profits, topping $36 billion, despite a rash of negative publicity due to the escape of one of its goats.
posted by Winston A. Hall at 2:33 PM
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