Fa la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la lala la...la la la la

San Angelo, Texas- Merry Christmas!! If that offends you, Happy Ramadan, Merry Kwanza (spelling?!?), and Happy Hanakkuh. If any of those offend you, Happy Holidays. If you do not celebrate any holidays at this time of year, and are offended by my outrageous assumption that you do, good morning. If you work during the night and are just now arriving home, and are offended by my assumption that the morning is good, then "hello." If you do not speak English and are offended by my outrageous assumption that you do, then konichiwa, jambo, hola, ni hao, bonjour, buon giorno, annyong ha shimnikka, czesc, zdravstvuite, and al salaam a' alaykum!! (Politcally correct greetings take foreeeeeeeeeever.)

One thought for you on this sunny Christmas day. I was observing my puppy Hart this morning and my ol' dog Girl. (Girl is sporting a very festive bandana with her name on it...a gift from my sister. It replaced my favorite one that read "Fleas Navidad.")

For a brief passing moment, I was saddened by the idea that dogs don't really know about Christmas, the Christmas spirit, exchanging gifts, and the anticipation of such a great day. Then I realized something that really makes sense when you think about it.

To a dog, EVERY day is Christmas. Think about it.

- Dogs wake up excited as all get out, every day.
- Dogs can't wait to give you a lick in the face. In fact, that is their only goal every day...to give.
- Dogs never look past the next day. (I don't think they know about the next day.)
- Dogs love the moment. They roll in it and really exploit it. Life is the moment.
- And much like children on Christmas, dogs will growl and attack each other when they try to take each other's things.

So, if you have a fuzzy pooch, take an example from them on this Christmas. Wake up excited, live in the moment, and excitedly lick the first person you see today.

Merry Christmas!!

That's the story of my life...

Whimsical World Receives 1,000th Visitor

Waring, TX - The blogging pioneer The Whimsical World of Winston celebrated its 1000th visitor early Thursday morning. The page, created by Winston A. Hall in January of 2006, logged its 1000th visitor almost one year to date from its creation. According to Mr. Hall, the blog has exceeded his expectations.

"When I first started The Whimsical World of Winston it was kind of by accident, literally. Like I was trying to check my email and somehow set up a friggin' blog," Hall said.

Hall says he was pleased with averaging approximately 92 hits a month.

"Well, orginially, my projections showed by this time The Whimsical World would be at 1.8 million hits, but we are most definitely happy with 1,000," Hall said.

For more information the Whimsical World of Winston visit his page at www.worldofwinston.blogspot.com.

That's the story of my life...

Welcome to Jurassic Bark

Franklin, TN~ For some time now, I have been dealing with my mutt situation. You see, I am staying in a house with no yard. Of course, there is grass and trees and all of the elements we most often associate with "yard" but I am missing one very important element:

A FENCE.

And, without a fence, I make the bold statement that I then in fact have no yard. For a time this was remedied with some kennel panels from Home Depot. At first the kennel was a horrid six by six feet in size. After placing the doghouse in there, my two dogs found it almost impossible to spend the night inside it. The countered in protest by giving me very sharp glances and always crapping upwind from wherever I might be standing.

I saved my money and several weeks later upgraded to twelve by six.

Then I utilized the side of the house and upgraded to an obtuse, octagon-rhombus thingy that was bigger.

But Sunday I created what just might be my finest creation yet. I call it...

JURASSIC BARK.

I do not own a digital camera yet (after Christmas) so use your imagination on this. The back part of the grassy area behind my house is fenced off on two sides and closed on the other by a garage. The quasi enclosed area is surrounded by some overgrown brush and some very tall trees. At first a balked at using that area for the Mongrels because I thought the fence had holes in it and it just seemed much too overgrown. BUT a little work and a little elbow grease had it looking spiffy. My roommate and I relocated the Rat Packs insulated doghouse (that I built three weeks ago) and placed it in the back corner behind the garage and out of sight from the house. I placed the old plastic dog house on top of that and made it a two story condominium. (The pup can jump on top of the new house...old dog can't.)

I spread the kennel panels across the gap from the garage to the neighbor's fence. With them stretched in such a manner, it makes it look as though I have some sort of frothing man-eating carnivore contained behind the fence. One of my neighbors commented that it looks like I have Kujo corraled in the back. What makes it even funnier is that the Mutts sleep in the back out of sight. When people walk by they can't see anything but they see the gate securely fashioned. After peering for several seconds I'm sure it provokes them to ponder:

What in the hell is caged back there?!?!

After studying my six foot tall panels, and the forested nature of the wildlife reserve that has sprung up behind my house, I have dubbed the area Jurassic Bark. The chuckle comes when my old dog stumbles from the shadows half asleep and my puppy emerges from the darkness with a stuffed duck in his mouth...wagging his tail.

Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrroooooowwwwwwwwwwwwrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!


Yeah right. As if that's not funny enough, I have to enter through a kennel door because the panels are six feet tall. I'm thinking of sub-leasing the space to some howler monkeys from the Nashville Zoo. At least then I could charge admission.

That's the story of my life...

Insomniacs Anonymous Postpone Major Decision, Vow to 'Sleep on it'

Franklin, TN - I don't really have a point to this post other than to say its 5:15 in the morning and I am wide awake. This is not normal for me seeing as I usually have no problem falling asleep and all kinds of trouble waking up. In a quick assessment, I can blame my wide-awake status on any one of the following items:

1.) I have a cold and the bizarre cycle of drowsy/non-drowsy medicine is toying with my sleep patterns. ( I failed also to avoid the "avoid alcohol" stipulation on the medicine box)

2.) I saw the Denzel Washington movie "Deja Vu" right before I went to sleep. At this point in my post I will now utilize sub-points to my numbered points. The following are the jokes any of which you can choose from about seeing "Deja Vu"

A. I felt like I'd already seen it.

B. It was so good, I'm want to see it again, again.

C. Have I posted this before?

D. It was just like every other Denzel movie.

E. (This will blow your mind) What about a sequel?!?!?

3.) My neuro-rambon calcitrators have overloaded my mainframe gigatoople algorithms causing the fluctuating actuators to dispense extremely high levels of flyvo-hadnoids in my ramnoid. This little "disruption" caused an unnaturally strong abhorrency level in my phoot-nads. The result? Just a little gagnitus in my impetonator valve causing, what else, but my extremely open eyeballs.

(Editors note: The previous paragraph is completely made up and contains absolutely no real scientific value whatsoever. The blogger who posted this has zero scientific credibilty and more than likely made up all the words that sound the least bit scientific.)

I am hoping that a little early-morn surfing of the net will tire my dreary balls (EYE balls..thank you very much) and I will drift off to that mythical land they call Slumber. Until then, I will count the threads in my sheets. That shouldn't take too long.

That's the story of my life...

This is an actual picture of me singing on stage on May 7, 2006 in San Angelo, Texas. This photo was snapped by a Time Magazine photographer a split second before a rampaging elephant killed 47 of the spectators.  

Word of the Day #10

Franklin, TN- Hello Whimsical World Faithfuls! Your word of the day for December 3, 2006 is:

1. subsidiary (noun) A sidiary located under the ground.

In a sentence: "Wow! Look at that subsidiary!"

That's the story of my life...